Princess Beatrice says: "I'm cooler than Kate!" Her plan is to "turn herself into the palace's Kim Kardashian"
I don't know who Giada is so I looked at this cover photo and was like "Olivia Wilde looks funny." In other looking-funny news, there is a still photo from a video of Nicki Minaj at a high school drama class and YOU'LL NEVER GUESS THE SHOCKER: she doesn't have big buns for an anaconda to look at. Now Nicki looks the way she looks because "guys used to make fun of her slender frame" and she has been "chasing after approval from men ever since." That seems sooooooooooOooOoO Nicki! Princess Beatrice says: "I'm cooler than Kate!" Her plan is to "turn herself into the palace's Kim Kardashian" and in order to do that she's got "a lot of sexy outfits lined up for the next two weeks." Don't we all? It's early January!!
Paris Hilton left her food trash on a bench at the airport. Tori Spelling went to Redbox on NYE. Kim Kardashian went to Ralphs and bought Triscuits. MY GOD, IT'S SCINTILLATING STUFF. Here's the cover story: Giada is splitting up with her husband, who she's been married to for 11 years, and she has to do it FAST or all those random dudes will be like "WE BANGED" and the divorce will get harder. She also supposedly banged John Mayer and Bobby Flay and Matt Lauer. She has a net worth of $20 million and a six-year-old and blah blah blah it's gonna suck for everyone and also she announced it on Facebook.
HERE'S AN INTERVIEW WITH MARIAH CAREY'S SISTER: the estranged Alison Carey, 53. Alison hasn't talked to Mariah in four years, she and her kids don't have enough food, and she can't pay the rent. She cleans houses for a living and she recently spent four days in the hospital for pneumonia. She doesn't want Mariah to think she "only wants her for her money, like everyone else does." She has never met Mariah's kids and she doesn't get into why they are estranged—"I've done things that were wrong, she's done things that were wrong"—but she writes a letter both pleading for help and also saying she would like, even more than lots of money, to "show you who I am today—who I can be for you, Mariah, as a sister." She signs it Dandelion, Mariah's old nickname for her. Dang, that is sad. Let's end on a "happier note": Summer Sanders is shilling for Jamba Juice.
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