WAS I RAPED? QUESTIONS I ASK MYSELF AS YEARS GONE BY.
For purposes of this page, we use the term “rape” to mean all crimes of sexual violence, not just those crimes that would qualify as “rape” under the laws of different countries of the world.
The exact definition of “rape,” “sexual assault,” “sexual abuse” and similar terms differs by state, country to country. The wording can get confusing, since states often use different words to mean the same thing or use the same words to describe different things.
Please note that this definition is rather graphic, which is inevitable when describing crimes this violent.
“Penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim."
Sexual assault victims may be forced through threats or physical means. In about 8 out of 10 sexual assaults, no weapon is used other than physical force. Anyone may be a victim of sexual assault: women, men or children, straight or gay.
So, how can you figure if what happened was rape? There are a few questions to consider.
There are three main considerations in judging whether or not a sexual act is consensual (which means that both people are old enough to consent, have the capacity to consent, and agreed to the sexual contact) or is a crime.
Are the participants old enough to consent?
Each state sets an “age of consent,” which is the minimum age someone must be to have sex. People below this age are considered children and cannot legally agree to have sex. In other words, even if the child or teenager says yes, the law says no.
In most states, the age of consent is 16 or 18. In some states, the age of consent varies according to the age difference between the participants. Generally, “I thought she was 18” is not considered a legal excuse — it’s up to you to make sure your partner is old enough to legally take part.
Because laws are different in every state, it is important to find out the law in your state.
Do both people have the capacity to consent? States also define who has the mental and legal capacity to consent. Those with diminished capacity — for example, some people with disabilities, some elderly people and people who have been drugged or are unconscious — may not have the legal ability to agree to have sex.
Did both participants agree to take part?
Did someone use physical force to make you have sexual contact with him/her? Has someone threatened you to make you have intercourse with them? If so, it is rape.
It doesn’t matter if you think your partner means yes, or if you’ve already started having sex — “No” also means “Stop.” If you proceed despite your partner’s expressed instruction to stop, you have not only violated basic codes of morality and decency, you may have also committed a crime under the laws of your state (check your state’s laws for specifics).
Comments
I was tipsy, drunk on a friday night out. I wanted to hang out but not to have sex, i felt so terrible and used, u wished it never happened as am too scared to go to the hospital to knw my hiv status, as i dont even know this guy.
The fact that you didnt hide your name shows you already psychologically stable. And so i wong go too easy with you. Alcohol and drugs are not an excuse – or an alibi. The key question is still: did you consent or not? Regardless of whether you were drunk or sober, if the sex is nonconsensual, it is rape. However, because each state has different definitions of “nonconsensual”, please contact your local center or local police...since you didnt tell me when it occurred, i doubt if there is anything u can get as record for your rape kit. D good news is you dont have to go the hospital, there are lots of hiv kits available in stores you could use. No matter the results you get from them ensure you do a confirmation test at a hospital, so if you really positive, you can start treatment on time n live a very normal life, cos if you go spreading it around you could get reinfected and that wont be good for you. Dont 4gey to send me an email.
Rape can occur when the offender and the victim have a pre-existing relationship (sometimes called “date rape” or “acquaintance rape”), or even when the offender is the victim’s spouse. It does not matter whether the other person is an ex-boyfriend or a complete stranger, and it doesn’t matter if you’ve had sex in the past. If it is nonconsensual this time, it is rape. (But be aware that a few states still have limitations on when spousal rape is a crime.) Most ladies and men usually get raped by persons or friends closed to them, i have seen cases where an ex would apologise to come back into your life and they end up raping or organise a gang rape when you on a beach or partying, everyone is a suspect even your closest friends. I also know of a chick who was still a virgin in college, yet Her friends envied her and organised a cute guy they knew she loved secretly to rape her, when you are forced to have sex, it could be painful, annoying n traumatic to the victim irrespective of whether they were lovers or not. A NO IS A NO, DONT MISTAKE THAT TO A YES. when he or she says No, just stop and ask her if she really meant it, unless one is insane, one must knw when a woman or man, straight or gay really says No.