Irritating things fellow passengers always do on plane journeys

Sometimes it feels like you are catching a disease rather than a flight (Picture: Getty)

We all look forward to a decent break abroad – it’s getting there that’s the problem.
Travelling by plane is an obstacle course of shoddy situations and even shoddier human beings

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You’re bound to get ripped off at the airport, hacked off by the so-called in-flight entertainment and fobbed off by the hire car company.
But the biggest potential bother comes in the form of your fellow passengers.
 

No amount of Sudokus and complimentary mags will help ease the pain (Picture: Getty)

So take a butchers at the 22 worst air travel offences – and see how many you are guilty of.
1. Rolling your 20kg suitcase over someone’s foot. Saying you were getting used to the speedy wheels is not a going to help matters.
2. Rabbiting on about how ugly your passport photo is. Cry me a river.
3. Taking your baby with you. Face it, babies don’t understand anything. They don’t need to relax, unwind and take in the local culture. And they make so much NOISE.
4. Putting on anti-embolism stockings or bed socks post take-off. No one wants to see your feet, however briefly. It was bad enough seeing your hole-ridden socks when security asked to scan your boots.
5. Elbowing your way to the window seat then, when everyone’s sat down and settled, suddenly needing the toilet.
6. Fidgeting impatiently until the seatbelt sign has been switched off like you’ve been consigned to your seat for eternity.
7. Tilting your chair back with a glib lack of consideration for the person behind you.
8. Placing your rubbish on a stranger’s tray table. That table is their sacred space in a cramped tin fuselage full of screaming kids.
9. Allowing your child to kick the seat in front of them. Be their moral compass in this situation. It’s crucial.
10. Complaining about the pressure in your ears. This isn’t scuba diving, grow a pair. Suck a Werther’s Original.

 

Closing your eyes wont make the idiots go away (Picture: Getty)

12. Resting your elbows squarely on both arm rests so your neighbours have to lean one way and give themselves neck pain.
13. Moaning that you’ve missed a vital detail of the plot of Bridesmaids during an announcement.
14. Spilling the entire bag of Travel Scrabble letters on the floor.
15. Demanding a more palatable meal from the cabin crew, as if mushroom stroganoff and tiramisu isn’t worthy of Syrian refugees.

16. Ordering one of the dodgy toasties for £5.99 and stinking out the place.
17. Reading up about EXACTLY where you’re going in the in-flight magazine and sharing the info excitedly. Where’s the element of surprise?
18. Trying to open a toilet door which is obviously engaged. You just don’t know what’s going on in there…
19. Engaging in PDAs with your partner. There’s a time, there’s a place and this is not it. This is too miserable. Flirting with the cabin crew: ditto.

20. Turning your phone on as soon as the plane touches down and checking how much the internet has missed you in the last few hours.
21. Opening an overhead locker without due caution, releasing a rogue handbag or cello.
22. Being all smug when your suitcase comes round the conveyor belt early. There’s a half-hour taxi queue outside. No one escapes.