Is it wrong for Christians to engage in phone sex or sexting?

What does the Word of God say about Phone sex and sexting?

What is Phone sex?

Before we can determine if Phone sex is a sin for a Christian we need to first define what it is.
Webster’s Online dictionary defines Phone sex as:

“a conversation held over the telephone in which people describe sex acts to one another for sexual pleasure”

Examples of Phone sex would be people calling each other on the phone making sexual sounds and describing sexual actions in order to arouse one another.
Another way of defining phone sex would be live sexual communication (verbal or texting (sexting)) over a phone between two persons for the purposes of sexual arousal and/or orgasm.
Before we can understand whether phone sex violates God’s Word we need to see why God created sex and what his rules and purposes for it were.

Is Phone Sex or Sexting a sin for married couples?

Since God has gifted sex to marriage – there is no sin in married couples engaging in Phone Sex or sexting. In fact this should be encouraged for couples that may be separated by long distances due to military deployments or other work related issues. It helps the couples to connect even while apart. Even for couples who are not far distances apart, sexting can be a great way to tease one another and build excitement for getting together later the same day. The Scriptures do not require that every orgasm a Christian husband or wife has must be experienced through physical sexual intercourse. Some Church leaders have wrongly taught this with no Scriptural backing whatsoever.

Is Phone sex and sexting a sin for unmarried Christians?

Phone sex and sexting are a violation of God’s Word and his boundaries on sex for unmarried persons. Usually Phone sex involves one or both people masturbating but that is NOT why it is wrong as masturbation is allowable within God’s law.
The reason that Phone sex and sexting are wrong is because the only type of sexual activity between two persons that God honors is that which occurs within the covenant of marriage. So that means dating couples or even engaged couples may not engage in Phone sex or sexting before they are married. Obviously it means that strangers may not engage in Phone sex or sexting with each other either.

Some might ask – “but there is nothing physical so how can it be wrong?” The reason is that sex is both a mental and a physical activity. If two persons are interacting with one another and they are sexually arousing each other, whether it be by using sexual sounds on the phone or sexual suggestions in texts and whether or not they have an orgasm they are in essence having sex with one another. It is just mental sex, as opposed to physical sex, but it is still sex.

But what about looking at pictures or sexual recordings of people, or just imagining sex with someone?

If you have read any amount of posts on this site on sundays especially, you will see that I show there is no sin in Christian looking at nude image, or video as long it does not feature unmarried person’s having sex or other sinful sexual activities. Simulated sex is not the same thing. So for instance a normal movie (not porn) might feature sounds of a couple having simulated sex, and there is no sin in being turned on by those sounds. So how can Phone sex be wrong, but hearing sexual sounds from some random movie is not wrong for a Christian to hear?

Conclusion

While being aroused by sexual sounds and masturbation are not sinful – Phone sex and sexting are a sin even though they usually involves both of these things. Phone sex is more than hearing sexually arousing sounds, becoming aroused and masturbating. It involves an illegitimate sexual relationship between two people who are not married and it is not something any Christian should be involved in.