Dominatrix secrets: Typical clients every sex worker has come across. Pastors Inclusive!

While we can’t specify age, relationship status or political leanings, we have a pretty good idea of who we’re dealing with inside five minutes into the appointment.

The (non) expert (Clergy)

Careful with that, its more delicate than you think Picture: Getty

‘You like that, huh?’
Not asked as a question, more a statement.
He’s telling me I ‘like that’.
This is only so he can get his own rocks off by thinking he’s amazing in bed, when all he’s really done is delivered a few sloppy snogs while rubbing my c*** in a style that makes me think he wants a genie to pop out of my vagina.

The telepath

Can you see what he wants yet? (Picture: Getty)

‘I want to try something I’ve never done before.’ …while never having any intention of telling me what that might be.
One of the main faux pas our clients are guilty of is thinking we’re f***ing mindreaders.
They’ve looked through every detail of our website, seen our pictures, read our dos and don’ts list – they have a pretty good idea of who we are, and in the process they ignore the fact that they are a complete stranger to us.
So when a client tells me he wants to do something he’s never done before, I suggest he skips to telling me what that might be rather than us spending the hour listening to a complete history of his sexual encounters.

The bashful one

Come on now, out with it (Picture: Getty)

Much like the above, this client will definitely have an idea in mind of what he wants and expects me to figure out what that is within an hour.
He’ll stay silent, move with about as much enthusiasm as a gutted fish, and 55 minutes into an hour appointment he’ll say: ‘Umm…this was nice, but really all I wanted was to lick your feet with a dildo up my a***, dance for you wearing women’s stockings while you sang the greatest hits from the popular disco band Boney M.’
No wonder he’s shy about it.
Boney M, for god’s sake.

The haggler

Got change for a quid? (Picture: Getty)

There is no phrase more likely to make my vagina zip up and go on strike than the phrase: ‘Is that the best price you can do?’
How do men not realise that asking a woman this is not only highly insulting, but also gives away everything you need to know about this guy?
As soon as someone tried to haggle, they got a one way ticket to my blacklist.
Frankly, I don’t want anyone like that anywhere near me.

Source: metro

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