Everyman Has One Way Or The Other Raped A Girl. See How

The last time I discussed rape with an African audience was during the infamous Kwesi Kyei Darkwah (KKD) alleged rape saga—and the misunderstanding at the time with majority of my audience was that, unless a woman shouts or fights a male s*xual predator, what seems like a smooth s*xual intercourse can never be raped.

The latest bedroom trend doesn’t have to do with a certain position or technique — and it’s not sexy at all.

The disturbing, nonconsensual trend is called “stealthing” and its rise is documented in a report by the Columbia Journal of Gender and Law.

Lead author Alexandra Brodsky argues that “stealthing,” when a man secretly removes his condom in the middle of sex, is a form of sexual assault and should be treated as such.

Even more troubling is the online community Brodsky uncovered, where men encourage other men to “stealth” their partners. These perpetrators — both gay and straight — believe it’s a man’s right to “spread one’s seed.”

“One of my goals with the article, and in proposing a new statute, is to provide a vocabulary and create ways for people to talk about what is a really common experience that just is too often dismissed as just ‘bad sex’ instead of ‘violence,'” Brodsky told the Huffington Post.

The study opens with Rebecca, a doctoral student who works at a rape crisis hotline. Rebecca noticed she was receiving more and more calls about women being “stealthed.” (Rebecca said she had also experienced the same thing with an ex-boyfriend.)

“Their stories often start the same way,” Rebecca said. “’I’m not sure if this is rape, but…’” They all felt violated but “didn’t have the vocabulary” to figure out what was happening.

Not only does “stealthing” leave a victim vulnerable to pregnancy or STIs, it causes the same type of emotional, physical and financial harm that stems from other, more clearly defined, violent sex acts. One of the victims Brodsky interviewed for the report called the act “rape-adjacent.” Another victim described what happened with her partner as a “blatant violation of what we’d agree to.”